You know you're obsessed when
by Holly Unending
Summary: Your hair may not defy gravity, but you still try to show your support for Phoenix and the gang. Any of these sound familiar? Mild spoilers, all games.


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A/N:

This has been laying around on my computer for a while (it's been up on my gaia journal, pocky-sama) and when I saw xo'lady post one I thought, "Cool!! We can do that??" So here it is. Be sure to check hers out too!

**I OWN NOTHING. Ace attorney belongs to the strikebenevolent god/strike game company CAPCOM.**

**YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PHOENIX WRIGHT WHEN YOU:**

**(Warning: mild spoilers, all games)**

-Can spell its Japanese name (Gyakuten Saiban).

-Know that Phoenix's Japanese name is Naruhodo Ryuiichi, Maya's is Mayoi Ayasato, and Edgeworth's is Mitsurugi Reiji. (You get bonus points for any others.)

-Have actually told someone that your favorite band is the Gavinners.

-Have a potted plant in your room called "Charley".

-Also have a potted cactus called "Billy."

-Refer to your car as your steel steed.

-Your ringtone is the Steel Samurai theme song.

**-**Believe that the jury has no say in the verdict, even if they collectively chant "GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!" (See case 2-4.)

-Learn the Blue Badger dance.

-Think old ladies should wear space suits.

-Use "OBJECTION!" as part of your everyday vocabulary.

-Suddenly can't help watching shows like "Boston Legal" and "Law and Order".

-Believe all judges are gullible.

-Call all monkeys "Money", which really confuses your family when you go to the zoo.

-Think it's normal for a 24-year-old man to have gray hair.

-Believe that prosecutors have the free time to become rock stars.

-Have a favorite pairing(s), which you defend viciously like the rabid fangirl/boy that you are.

**-**Have actually drawn out a diagram of a murder to explain it to a friend.

**-**Don't bowl, you play "Knock down Mystic Ami's Urn".

-Drink coffee. Lots and lots and lots of coffee, and all of it black.

-Find yourself calling your friends "pal" or "kitten".

-Have looked for Luminol on ebay.

**-**You watch the kid's show "Go, Diego, Go!" just to laugh hysterically as you imagine the _real _Diego swinging on vines.

-Say, "Witness, you've had a long day. Shut your pie-hole." (a la Manfred Von Karma) instead of "Shut up."

-Spend at least an hour spiking your hair every morning.

-Actually looked up _acolyte_ in the dictionary.

-Like amuse yourself by seeing if you can use _fool_ more times in one sentence than Franziska.

-Are extremely suspicious of bellboys, and always look to see if they're wearing black leather gloves.

-Actually thought about how Edgeworth would look carrying that enormous stuffed bear in case 2-4. (Farewell, My Turnabout)

-Couldn't stop laughing for half an hour after picturing Edgeworth carrying that enormous stuffed bear.

-Are nervous in elevators.

-Think cravats are either a) handsome (if you like Edgeworth); or b) hilarious (if you dislike Edgeworth).

-Really, really wish he was real, just so you could write PINK in huge letters on the back of his suit jacket. C'mon. It's _totally_ pink.

-Actually responded out loud when he said, "…D-do I really inspire this sort of frothing desire from the female masses?!" in T&T.

-Your favorite comeback to the elderly's complaints about your clothing is, "You really should come with a supply of cheese to match your vintage whine!" ...or, at least you think it.

-Think of Kristoph saying "Owning the same nail polish does not a murderer make" every time you paint your nails. Then you start to worry that you will be accused of murder because you, by chance, wore the same nail polish as the murderer. You buy a bottle of nail polish remover and are paranoid for days.

-Have a mild (yet healthy) fear of being murdered by an acrobat at the circus. However, you are no longer afraid of clowns and address them all as "Moe".

-Eat instant noodles whenever you can out of sympathy for Gumshoe.

-Make paper dolls of all the characters and re-enact certain scenes.

-Plan to give your child a strangely spelled name like "Maggey Byrde" in case it helps them if they are accused of murder, see case 2-1.

-Are afraid of swimming. Hey, you never know where Damon Gant will appear.

-Begin to feel a lot warmer toward hobos, especially ones wearing blue beanies.

-Steal someone's lunch money to inspire them to become a lawyer. They'll thank you someday.

-Wonder if all rockstars have a secret daytime job. Say, as a prosecuting attorney.

-Rant to your friends for hours about Von Karma, Engarde, etc.

-Tried literally every piece of evidence to make Regina happy at the end of case 2-3, because you refuse to just google it.

-Think a good going-away gift is a whip.

-Travel abroad for a year to find your true self.

-Think pink-colored glasses will help you get a 97 on your science test.

-Know that 97 is the score Ema bragged about in case 1-5.

-Think the Theory of Relativity was designed by Mr. Relative, who is German.

-When someone finds you out, you just snap- bite your hat like Ini, shatter your glasses like Adrian or best of all slam your head Von Karma-style.

-When one of your friends looks older because she got contacts and cut her hair over summer, your first thought is, "I wonder who she's channeling?"

-Have the sudden urge to buy a glass light stand for your room.

-Start referring to your school ID as a badge.

-Present your badge to anyone you meet with a flourish and wait for their reaction.

-Can't figure out the difference between a ladder and a step-ladder, and are proud of it.

-Wish you had witty name like Winston Payne or Dick Gumshoe.

-Get in trouble for pointing dramatically at your teacher and yelling "OBJECTION!" whenever they slip up.

-Have sudden, inexplicable cravings for burgers.

-Sculpted your own "The Thinker" and made it into a clock.

-Call hot dogs "Samurai Dogs".

-Are always just a little bit afraid to open the trunk of your car, especially if you own a flashy red sports car.

-Laugh hysterically when you see a sign for "Apollo's Hair Salon"…and then debate about entering and asking for the Herr Forehead style.

-Can relate any song that comes on the radio to one of the characters, cases, or pairings.


End file.
